These are my New Years resolutions. I don’t normalyy make them but I’ve changed and achieved so much this year I think I might manag a few new challenges in 2015.
Get back into horse riding – I stopped for a few months while I was pregnant, mostly because my centre of gravity was so skewed I couldn’t keep my balance. I started again when Squidge was three months old but after I went back to work and he started nursery I just couldn’t find the time to fit it in. Riding was one of the few things I did for me; I love horses, it was great exercise and it was an hour where I wasn’t mummy. When Squidge is old enough I’ll be taking him for riding lessons so even if it isn’t something he continues with when he’s older at least he’ll be used to horses and won’t be afraid of them. Unlike the Northern One. Apparently horses are too big and can’t be trusted. Neither can cows.
Drink more water – I don’t drink nearly enough which is probably why I feel most shifts with a headache and feeling a bit sick. The only issue with drinking more is that I need to wee more and the staff toilets are a loooong way from the ward area. I quite often mix up feeling thirsty with feeling hungry but will eat something rather than seeing if I actually just need a drink first. Squidge doesn’t drink as much water as he should and so recently he’s been a bit constipated and doing an enormous, uncomfortable poo every four days or so. My mum suggested stewed prunes but I think I’ll try more water first.
Eat properly, not snacking – I am dreadful for snacking to the extent that I will snack rather than eating proper meals. Not only is this bad for me but I don’t want to teach Squidge bad eating habits. I’m not going to diet or ban foods that I enjoy eating, I just need to get back into the pattern of eating three proper meals a day, a decent amount of fruit and veg and try to keep snacks to a minimum.
Start running again – I used to run several miles most days but I’ve not been since before I found out I was pregnant. I know that a bit of exercise would help me sleep better at night and feel better during the day; it’s just finding the motivation to put on my trainers and go. I want Squidge to see exercise as something fun, not as a chore and I’d really like to be able to do another half marathon.
Use more hand cream – I have a huge tub of very nice hand creams which I frequently forget to use when I get home because I’m just so tired. I then pay for this when I go back to work and wash my hands a few times and they turn bright red and itchy. At the moment my knuckles are covered in scratches and grazes because the skin is so thin and it’s something that’s avoidable.
Get the house painted – Due to only working two days per week I don’t get to the stage where I feel like I live at work anymore as I tend to work two days in a row and then have five days off. Last week I was politely informed that I had forgotten to book any holiday time and that I needed to use up this year’s allowance before the end of May. So now I have two weeks holiday every month until June and with Squidge in nursery two days every week I should be able to finally finish painting the house. Three years after we moved in.
Get the garden sorted – I really want Squidge to be able to play in the garden but at the moment we have no fences along the bottom of the garden and it just looks an enormous mess. I’m not the most green fingered of people; the only house plants I have any success with are cacti so I just want a neat, easily maintained garden with a few flowering shrubs. What I really want is for Squidge to be able to have a swing and maybe a sand pit to play with.
Get back into reading as opposed to watching the TV – I know that I’m really struggling with my depression when I can’t sit down and read. It doesn’t matter how interesting the book is it just doesn’t hold my attention and my mind strays into unpleasant territory. I hardly read anything the whole time I was pregnant, even newspaper and magazine articles were difficult and now I’ve got out of the habit. I don’t watch all that much TV as I don’t have it on during the day with Squidge but I know I get much more enjoyment out of a book than a programme.
See more of old friends – I am rather bad at staying in contact with people because I don’t realise how much I’ve missed them until I actually see them. Blogging has helped me reconnect with some people so hopefully Squidge and I will have a lovely year of meeting new people (him) and catching up with friends (me).
Keep smiling, even at people I don’t know – I always try to keep a smile on my face, especially at work where the parents rely on us to be positive and hopeful when they don’t feel like they can. Smiling helps me to feel happy even when I’m exhausted and rushed off my feet and it’s far nicer to work with someone who’s smiling than someone who looks like a wet weekend. I smile at all the parents, all the staff and people I see in the hospital or in the street if they happen to catch my eye. They don’t always smile back but when they do it adds a little bit of sunshine to the world.
Take Squidge to new places – Some of my best childhood memories are of my parents making a picnic and taking me and my brother out on Saturdays; to go to National Trust properties or museums or walking in the Lake District. They’d buy us the children’s guide or we’d do the quiz if there was one and then there’d be a trip to the gift shop for a little memento of the day. These days out taught us about history and geography and art and we had our parents undivided attention to ask them questions or to just talk to them about things that were on our mind.
Be kind to myself – I’m particularly good at beating myself up over little things; washing up in the sink or ironing not done or the fact that I’ve stayed in on my day off rather than going out and doing the shopping. All it does it make me feel bad about myself which doesn’t benefit anyone, least of all me. I’m entitled to a bit of time to sit and not do anything and I need to learn to accept that.
Carry on blogging – my only wish is that I’d started it sooner.
Thanks for all your support in the past few weeks; I’ll keep on writing in 2015 and I hope people will carry on reading.